Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Third Anniversary

Last week was our third wedding anniversary. We have been together 7.5 years and happily married for 3. Time flies when you're having fun!


After running the Beach to Bay Marathon at the coast, we headed back home to repack our swim suits. My fabulous God Parents let us stay in their lake house on Lake LBJ for a few days to celebrate. We had a relaxing good time with fishing, movies, reading, soaking up the sun, and enjoying each other's company. My Adorable Loving Husband made some awesome steaks on our anniversary night.







Alas, the real world called and we had to return to work... for ONE day before our 3 day weekend! he he! On Friday we went to Hooters with some friends. Hooters has become part of our anniversary celebration. The first two years we were there to watch the Spurs in the playoffs. Sadly, we weren't doing that this year. But it sure was fun! Some people think I'm crazy for going to Hooters on a holiday that should be romantic... but they don't know that Skip has promised that our 10th anniversary will be somewhere exotic like Hooters- Aruba or Hooters- Sao Paulo!



After some tasty wings we went to a dancehall, and you KNOW how ALH and I love to dance! A great anniversary, and another great year together! Love is wonderful!

Friday, May 22, 2009

Couldn't Have Said it Better Myself!

My friend KK sent me this poem today, and I love, love, LOVE it! (love her, too!)

A poem for all mothers in waiting...

I have longed and waited.
I have cried and prayed.
I have endured and planned over and over again.


Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams.

I will notice everything about my child.
I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore, and discover.
I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life.


I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold, and feed him and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream.

My dream will be crying for me.
I count myself lucky in this sense; that God has given me this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child.
Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a child that God leads me to, I will not be careless with my love.


I will be a better mother for all that I have endured. I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, friend, and sister because I have known pain.
I know disillusionment, as I have been betrayed by my own body. I have been tried by fire and hell that many never face, yet given time, I stood tall.


I have prevailed.
I have succeeded.
I have won.


So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort. I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs.
I listen.


And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely.
I have learned the immense power of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth when life is beyond hard.


I have learned a compassion that only comes by walking in those shoes.
I have learned to appreciate life.
Yes, I will be a wonderful mother.

Monday, May 18, 2009

444

444 days of trying to have a baby. {sigh}

I seriously thought we would be parents by now. Real parents, not the people that call their dogs their children and spoil them rotten. {ahem, we would never do such a thing}

Everyone around us knows how badly we want a baby. They are all supportive and positive and behind us in prayer.

My adorable loving husband is the most understanding man in the world. He has been so great about this whole process.

My friends Kristin and Lauren Lea check in on me often and say prayers specially for us. It makes me cry just thinking about their pure hearts and overflowing compassion. I can't wait for the 3 of us to raise our children together.

My inlaws offer medical support and advice, always positive and always excited about their first grandchild.

My "TTC" friends on yuku are ever-supportive and understanding. They hold my hand on good days and bad.

My blog readers are always upbeat and cheer me with comments and stories.

My friend Shyla gave me a rose quartz bracelet with a turtle on it. These are meant to promote fertility, and then protect mother and baby. I gave her one when she was trying to get pregnant, and she has now doubly blessed this gift by giving me a bracelet and wearing one herself in my honor.

My parents are always there for us, too. Even offering to help us financially when medical bills threaten to drown us. They see no price too high for another healthy grandchild to love.

You see, I'm a Daddy's Girl. It is something so trite I hate to mention it, but he has a special place in my heart. He knows how emotional I can be about wanting to be a mother. We are close, as I work with him every day. Today, sitting in the office...


Dad: "Pook, do you really, really want to get pregnant?"
Me: {already swallowing down a lump in my throat} "Yes, I really do."
Dad: "This is going to do the trick." {holding up two matching 'Fisher of Men' bracelets} "Father-Daughter bracelets." {we put them on}
Dad: "So, do you feel pregnant yet?"
Me: "Give me a couple of weeks."
Dad: "Just checking. I didn't know how powerful they were..."




Isn't he the sweetest?! As you can see, we both already wore one from our 'Walk to Emmaus' retreats. But these are extra special!


I didn't even come close to mentioning everyone who has been supporting us and loving us. But you know who you are. Thank you, thank you, thank you. God brought you into our life for a very special reason. And we love you.



"And he said unto them, 'Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men."
-Matthew 4:19

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Another of my favorite blogs is "4 Little Men and Girly Twins." Yep, this super cool mom has 4 young sons and twin daughters. She also loves photography and she does something called a random picture challenge. You see, she gives a folder number and photo number... then you go to that photo folder on your computer, click that photo and post it! Recently she said Folder 9, Photo 18... and I was tickeled pink with my result!



This is Kaylee and Julia visiting Aunt Chelsea's house 2 summers ago. After chocolate cupcakes, they most certainly needed a bath. Cute coppertone butts, huh?!

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Cowboy Fun

Most of you know that Skip grew up calf roping, taught by his Papa Don (grandfather). ALH built an arena on the ranch, and for the past year or so has been practicing and competing. You should come see him in Bulverde one Tuesday night for the roping or Saturday night for the Tejas Rodeo. (small town fun at it's finest!)

Last weekend ALH's little brother Zach came out to play...







What?!

It's a nice ass! (copenhagen ring and all)

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Wonky Sperm, Meet Crappy Blood


Nurse Cratchet can kiss my a$$. My beautiful friend Kristin has volunteered to kick her butt, and I'm considering this kind offer.

There is something a little wrong with me, but nothing so dramatic that I needed to use protection and worry myself sick. Stupid Nurse.

Today my RE explained that I have 2 blood clotting disorders. (both treatable, but doesn't thrombophilia just sound awful?!)

The first is MTHFR. Methylene-tetra-hydro-folate-reductase is an enzyme found in the cells of our body. It is needed to metabolize homocysteine, an amino acid found in the proteins you eat. Elevated homocysteine levels have been associated with fetal neural tube defects and miscarriage. An elevated homocysteine level can also indicate a increased risk factor for blood clots, arteriosclerosis (hardening of arteries) and strokes in both men and women.

There is no cure for MTHFR mutation. If you have the mutation, that's the way your body is made. You can, however, lessen any risk factors you have by taking B vitamins, Folic acid and baby aspirin in doses prescribed by your doctor. By taking these agents, you can lower your homocysteine levels and therefore your risk for the conditions above.

I have two copies of MTHFR. But, the doc was not overly concerned. I need to take a crap load of folic acid. Prenatal vitamins have about 500 mcg of folic acid, and I need about 10 times that much per day for the rest of my life.

The second red flag was from the Protein S test. My results came back elevated at 146. (But my homocysteine level is normal, and that is good.) This is also an issue with clotting and coagulation. If there are clots in my blood and my uterus, the fetus cannot grow properly. So, the very second I find out I am pregnant, I will need to take a baby aspirin everyday and give myself daily heparin shots to ward off any clots.

So... the doctor is very reassuring that we will conceive without much trouble and that the folic acid, aspirin, and heparin shots will give us a very good chance of delivering a baby to full term. (though more miscarriages and problems are of course possible)

Skip and I feel positive and are glad to have an Answer. Yes, I believe that should be capitalized. We have our Answer and we can now move forward with a plan of action!

As Adorable Loving Husband and I leave the RE's office and get in the truck...


Me: "Phew! I feel better. I can handle this."

ALH: "See, I told you not to worry."

Me: "It's still scary."

ALH: "Baby, let's focus on the positive... no more condoms!"

Me: "Amen to that!" {we high five and go on our happy little way to lunch}


Speaking of lunch... to celebrate our Answer and Cinco de Mayo, we had booze and Mexican food! (the beer is mine and the frilly strawberry margarita is his!)


Monday, May 4, 2009

Wake Up Call


A few weeks ago my RE did 6 or 7 tests on me and one on Skip to see if we could determine why I was miscarrying. He warned me that most people don’t get an answer from these tests and might never know why they miscarried.

I thought this sounded awful, I thought just knowing “why” would make it easier to swallow. Having answers was always better then being in the dark, right?

This morning the overly optimistic {child bearing} nurse calls in her annoyingly high pitched voice…


Nurse: “Chelsea, this is Nurse Cratchet from Dr. Arredondo’s office. Listen honey, we got some lab results back from the testing we did a few weeks ago."


Me: {stomach knots up}

Nurse: "And there is definitely something the doctor would like to discuss with you, so you need to make an appointment for a follow up."

Me: {a wave of nausea overcomes me, and not the kind I’ve been hoping for} “Okay.”

Nurse: “Miss Lietz, are you alright?”

Me: “Mmm-hmm.” {I squeak} “Well, in the meantime, do I need to do anything differently? Like use protection?”

Nurse: {Shuffling some papers} “Yeah, honey, I think that might be a good idea. The doctor will go over everything with you.”

Me: {crying hysterically and attempting to politely hang up the phone}


I make it to work, so scared I can hardly breathe. I numbly sit at my desk and open my mail. It’s a bill for the aforementioned blood tests. $993.14. I add it to my ever-growing stack of medical bills.


Me: {sobbing and absently wiping at snot… at the office, in the middle of the workday}

Friday, May 1, 2009

National Infertility Awareness Week


It is National Infertility Awareness Week. And you know I've never been secretive or ashamed... the world should know that getting knocked up ain't always easy.




Now those of you that usually comment are my real life friends and aren't infertile (thank God!)... but I have a feeling there may be some infertiles lurking out there... they read, they scan... but they don't comment or follow publicly.

That's cool, I'm happy to have anyone willing to read my ramblings. BUT... if you feel like this is your moment to de-lurk... I'd love to hear your story. How long have you been TTC? Any losses? Do you know what the problem is? Tried IUI or IVF? How are you feeling? What is your status right now? Maybe someone used to have fertility problems and now wants to share their baby bliss? Whatever it is, I want to know. Please leave comments! (even if they are anonymous, and even if you come across this post months from now)

And if you don't feel like sharing with me... check out Fertility Authority... they have a post this week asking infertiles to share the "One Thing" they wish they could tell their fertile friends, their family, anyone who doesn't quite get it. I found myself nodding and agreeing with almost every post. It's nice to know you aren't alone!

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