Thursday, August 4, 2011

Dreams

Dear Hadley,

There are two months until I get to meet you.  Well, I hope.

It is true that I am busier this pregnancy and find that once or twice a week I forget about my condition until you send me a reminding jab.

But not a day goes by that I don't dream about you.  Very early every morning, before the sun peeks through the window, we commune together, you and I.

Your a.m. aerobic sessions pull me from slumber with a smile on my face.  Still half asleep, I cover my belly with my hand and send you love.  This moment of every day... before the dogs lick my face, before your Daddy tries to snuggle, before your sister calls out for me... belongs to you. I whisper to you and we push against each other through a layer of taut skin.

Later, when I go to drop your sister off at Sissy's, you both seem to get hiccups at the same time.  We ride along together, singing "The Itsy Bitsy Spider" and "Skinna-marinky-dinky-dink," my two sweet girls hiccing and bumping away.

It always starts me day dreaming.  I am so eager to see how you girls will be alike and how you will differ. How sisters so close in age will be knitted in the same womb from the same genes.  It is going to be so beautiful watching you grow up together.

There are some things I wouldn't mind you having in common with Kherington... like her sleep habits and her penchant for kisses.  If you like stories as much as she does, I'll read to you both all day long. My lap is big enough for lots of book-loving babies. I hope you enjoy breastfeeding as much as Kherington, but you better agree to use a bottle now and then!

Sometimes my day dreams become night dreams, as my weary and aching body drifts off to slumber...  resting itself so that it might continue to grow you big and strong.  And sometimes those dreams are about you.  In the last one, you came early and your father wasn't there.  I felt alone and distraught without my family, but then they put you in my arms and I knew that our family had grown and that we would all four be together soon.  I can't explain it, but you had a full head of black hair! 

No matter how you arrive, what you look like, or what is similar or dissimilar to your sister, I know that you will be perfect.  God is making you that way.  Another miracle to answer our prayers and make our life whole.

When I was a child,  just the thought of having you someday made me happy.  Then learning of your surprise existence made me happier, and now every day my happiness grows as you do.  We are going to make each other so happy... you, your sister, your Daddy, and I.

I love you sweet girl, Mama

4 comments:

KrisKay said...

So sweet! Can't wait to meet HJ!!

Bobbie said...

She is loved by SO many already! Only 2 more months, geez!

Mel Bowman said...

I'm glad I'm not the only one who remembers Sharon, Lois, & Brahms's Elephant Show!

sissy000 said...

Such a beautiful testament on motherhood. Your gift of words will be a treasure for your daughters to enjoy. Meanwhile, thank you for sharing your thoughts with your family and friends. We have been blessed by them. Sissy anxiously awaits Hadley June!

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