Thursday, December 15, 2011

Parent Potty Training

Thanks for participating in the Potty Jotty Giveaway!

Reading your stories was great fun... come over sometime and write them in my Potty Jotty, 'kay? picked a number 1-39 and it was 6!

Our winner is Lindsey! Please check your email so we can get your address and get it shipped to you.

Only a few of you correctly guessed why my urine smells like maple syrup.  Fenugreek is right!  I'm taking a galactagogue to keep my milk supply up because I got nervous that my iud would hurt it.  All is well with the supply, but Hadley and I both smell like pancakes.

While we are on the topic of bathrooms (since it really doesn't come up very often), I had some more thoughts.  Using public restrooms with baby in tow is quite an adventure. Am I right?  They don't teach you about that in childbirth class or in What to Expect When You Don't Have the Happiest Baby on the Block... or whatever.

They tell you all about sleepless nights and teething, but NOBODY mentions public restrooms or changing crib sheets.  Or else population growth might come to a skidding halt.

I remember one of my first times out in public after Kherington was born.  I went to a bathroom stall in the mall to nurse her.  I got over THAT quickly!  Now I'll whip it out anywhere.  If you wouldn't eat in a bathroom, don't expect my baby to.

But back to my point... you enter the bathroom and you have to pee.  No problem if you have a stoller or carseat... unless you come out of the big stall to a handicapped person staring you down.  But if you are a baby wearer like me, you face the old hoveroverthetoiletwhilebalancingthebaby problem.  It took me awhile to learn to lift the baby in the carrier, pull down the maternity jeans I probably shouldn't be wearing anymore, hover, pee, change any needed femine products, wipe, stand, flush, pull up jeans, pull down tank, shove nursing pads back into place, lower sleeping baby back into position, and truimphantly exit the stall.

So now baby needs a change.  See a diaper changing table? Score.  Pull the rickety thing down, grab changing pad from diaper bag because they are out of the disposable ones, grab diaper and wipes with one hand while holding onto baby with the other, do your business, endure the little old lady that must touch baby and ask mundane questions, change the baby into the spare clothes (that are a little too small) because she had a blowout, wrap the dirty diaper and toss in trash, balance baby while you wash your hands, and done!

Not too bad as long as long you don't run out of wipes.  One time I left my 4 week old that can't roll over and was firmly strapped into the changer for about 10 seconds to wet some toilet paper and I had to endure a five minute lecture from a librarian. {sigh}

And if there is no changing table? and no room on the wash counter?  I quickly learned to sit on the pot and change the baby on my lap and I was pretty sure that made me a superhero.

And then that baby became a toddler. You enter the bathroom and before you can so much as unsnap your jeans, that toddler has reached into the trashbin just to see what is inside, rolled around on the bathroom floor because you asked her to stop touching the trash, and licked the toilet bowl rim just because she could.  Well, maybe not that last one... but she always tries to touch it and isn't that almost the same thing?!

When she isn't accumulating as many germs as humanly possible, she is looking under the stalls at other people and then clapping for me and saying "Mama, poop, potty!"  {sigh}

And if I try and change her diaper, she flops all over the changing table, unbuckles herself out of it, reaches down to "help" when I wipe, and gives me about a 2 second grace period to complete any necessary snaps, buttons, or zips.  And we aren't even to potty training yet. {sigh}

THEN... I go and have another infant and try to take them both to the bathroom at the same time.  I can do it now, because I am in fact a super hero.  But I'm not giving away my secrets, I think the public restroom experience is a parenting right of passage and you'll have to pay your own dues.

I'll just say THANK GOD for "Family Restrooms" that have those toddler seats with chains (okay, straps) and purse hooks and changing tables and nobody to judge you while you complete your circus act!


Rob and Nicole said...

Oh shit! LMAO! So funny! Abigail is the same! Traveling between home and Seguin I would always try to time it right so that I would not have to stop to use the restroom, but yeah, we have had countless public restroom adventures! Good times!

Mommy said...

You crack me up!!! I just had to share...

Lindsey said...

Love this!

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